A Simple Woman’s Take on the Root of Modesty: a theology of glory or theology of the cross

Welcome ladies! To a very unprecedented episode. 

I am not a tweeter. Now I have a tweet account, and do check it every once in awhile. So I’m fairly new to twitter controversies. I get why people talk about them. 

Now, I don’t plan on centering this podcast on controversies that are on the web. There are other podcasts that do that. It’s not the purpose for Thoroughly Equipped. So when this topic that I wish to address exploded on social media, I am usually very willing to watch from the side lines. I thought, well there are other women doing a better job at dealing with this topic. 

But this morning, as I was scrolling through Twitter a gentleman posted a tweet that made me think. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that this topic is actually quite important and very related to the purpose of this podcast as you will soon see. So I had to get my thoughts together and address the issue. 

So what is the controversy? Well, I’m going to play for you a clip that pretty much sums it up. This clip is from a recent video posted by Spencer Smith. Some of you may know his channel. Now me playing this clip does not mean I endorse his channel, there are some things I don’t agree with in his teachings, but in regards to this video, he presents the controversy and addresses the topic thoughtfully. I will play a portion for you so you know what’s going on in the Twitter sphere discussion.

This topic is so hot, because deep down we know it’s important. It’s a topic that for decades now the church has neglected. It is a topic that is a reflection of the heart. And being so people are either convicting or being convicted. Especially convicting women in the church, as Brian Suave has corrected women who have no shame in revealing their bodies on social media.

This issue has revealed pride in us sinful creatures, all pointing the finger at one another. On one side you have women telling men to stay out of their business, and accusing men who look at women in lust as his sin issue, rejecting any examination of their heart and the sin that resides in it. We even have women in blatant defiance of this admonition, presenting themselves in extremely provocative attire on social media.  While on the other side you have a calling to women to, in love, to dress accordingly to protect their brothers. And if we are not careful this can lead to self righteousness as one woman will look at what they deem an immodest woman and judge her to be unloving. Amongst all of this, people are watching and wondering how did we get here?

This leads me to the reason for this episode. In all the tweets going back and forth on this issue there was one that stood out to me and that was a tweet by thatbrian-imperfect perfectionist. In his tweet he addresses the question of WHY Brian_Sauve tweeted what he did. He says: Why did Brian Suave have to instruct young women regarding modesty? Because the older women didn’t (Titus 2: 3-5).

Now I want to point out that this portion of Scripture does not instruct women to teach younger women what to wear. What is too little, what is too much, etc. There are other Scripture verses that address how women are to present themselves. We will look at those in a bit. But it does address that an older woman train a younger woman to be pure or chaste. Purity and chastity are heart issues. What That brian is addressing in this tweet is the state of women teaching other women in our day and age. That we, older women in the church, are failing to train the younger. 

I heartily agree with this. We have not and are not teaching modesty. Women in the church ARE teaching the younger. The problem is WHAT they are teaching. The typical American Evangelical church today has more women involved in the church than ever before. They are propped up to leadership positions, and our younger women see this example and are being taught by it. The feminist ideology has it’s tendrals in the evangelical church, and the younger women are being taught in it. 

So yes, they are being taught by older women. They are being taught that to prove that they are equal to men they must perform, act, and have the same roles as men. They are taught that God loves them just as they are, and wishes to grant them success in their life through their purpose. They are taught that they are given a dream/purpose by God and no one should get in their way. They are also taught That they honor God through loving themselves. 

Today’s christianity is a religion for consumers, and it is especially exemplified in women’s ministry. The selling and study of personality instead of God’s word. Women’s Conferences ripe with experiences and moving stories. We pay to be entertained and motivated, in the name of Christ who is our lover and only lives to please us. 

So how does this affect modesty in a woman? Simple, modesty doesn’t exist in this religion. Modesty is the quality or state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities. Modesty results from what one believes about themselves. If I have been taught and believe that I am needed by God to accomplish a purpose and am loved just as I am, there is no moderate estimation of one’s abilities. Instead, a woman is taught to think more highly that she ought to of herself and not be ashamed of it. This attitude will be reflected by some in the way they dress. She will dress as she sees fit, in ways that will justify what she already believes about herself, or in ways to draw attention to herself. Because all things are done for herself and her ego.

On the flip side, in the extreme fundamentailist churches Christianity is a religion of rules. Women remain quiet and submissive, subject to men. Older women teach the younger even in these environments how to act and behave. They teach women that their actions result in men sinning. While there is a grain of truth in that (I rightly grasp that my behavior can tempt one to sin), how far does that rabbit hole go?

RC SProul taught on the tyranny of the weaker brother, a most relevant teaching to this discussion. Just how far should a woman go so as not to tempt the weaker brother? How does one judge whether one man is stronger and in control over lust and one who is not? A man who is lustful at heart does not need me to dress modestly, he will lust because he is lustful. 

So how will this type of environment affect modesty? Again it will be about the self. It will become about obeying the man made rules in regards to what is proper and decent, adding to Christ’s instructions to insure that one does not sin in quote-unquote “tempting” another to sin. These man made rules will lead some to adhere to a dress code and judge all others who do not adhere to said code.

So in actuality, older women are teaching the younger. The problem is in what they are teaching.

Woman in both of these spheres have not taught that which is good. Titus 2 says:

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4so that they may [c]encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. -NASB

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.- ESV

In both translations it is the teaching what is good that results in training up women to perform certain behaviors that honor God. What is good? Is it the actions given to us in this text? I would say no, the actions are a result of a teaching received. It is a result of learning that which is good. So again, what is good? Jesus tells us in Mark 10:18 that no one is good but God alone. What or WHO is good but God? ALL that is good comes from God. Good is an attribute of God. All that is revealed about God is displayed in Christ, which we find and can read about in Scripture. Older women are not teaching Christ. Honestly, we have not been trained unto Christ. He is neither preached nor proclaimed in most churches. For the woman chosen by God, her delight will be in Christ driving her to honor God’s word. This woman will train other women to delight in Christ. The one who creates purity, chastity and modesty of the heart.

So as a Christian woman I want to address this. ThatBrian is right that we women have failed at guiding the younger into purity and modesty. And now because women have not really dealt with this issue we are arguing amongst ourselves trying to wrestle with it.

Now here is one of the things I see going around in the discussions on attire or lack thereof. That purity and modesty go together. I’m not sure that that is entirely true. Purity in the Titus 2 context is about being clean from sexual misconduct. And yes, that can include provocative dress. We have a tendency today to equate modesty with physical clothing that portrays purity. And yes there is something to that. But the problem with that is that even modest dress may not always reflect purity. Modesty is a behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency. Modest attire is meant to convey purity. What I believe may be left out of the conversation is that modesty is also a character trait. It is the state of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities, the quality of being relatively moderate, limited, or small in amount, rate or level. So while women should be teaching others how to be pure and self controlled in conduct, what about modest in character as well as dress? Because honestly, our dress reflects our character. I want to dive into this a little more, but first we need to think more on the conflict Christian women are trying to resolve in this debate.

And that’s this: Is dressing modestly a Christian liberty issue or a loving thy neighbor issue?

It is a good question that Christian women need to deal with. So ladies, what do you think? From just listening to the clip I played and hearing a very small portion of the responses given, where do you fall in this debate? 

I propose that it is neither. Modesty is a glory issue. Whether it be in my character or what I wear, the question is: Who do I want to receive the glory? Does what I wear distract people from seeing Christ in me?  Do I wish to limit attention and glory to my person? Or do I wear certain attire because it draws attention to my person?  Once we wrestle with this in our hearts and repent of our desire for self glory we can walk in Christian liberty and love.

Why is modesty not taught in most Christian churches today? 

1) Because we have forgotten or were not taught the gospel. We have forgotten or are not taught that we are sinful, just as sinful as our male counterparts. We women have transgressed against a holy God and are deserving of his wrath and judgment. We have desired to love and draw attention to ourselves and not God, the one who deserves all praise and glory. We have looked for people to love us, to serve us, to make us feel good. We think more highly than we ought to of ourselves. We too, ladies were children of wrath (Eph.2:3). But God sent his SOn who willing came from heaven to love and serve God perfectly for us and then die and take the punishment we deserve. Yes, that includes all those times we dressed to draw attention to ourselves. Listen closely, that includes the times we have posted pictures of ourselves, scantily dressed to receive praise for losing weight or being pregnant, or to display our beauty. Who receives the praise for your weight loss? Who should receive glory and worship for giving you that child? Who gave you your beauty? Was your post done in praise and honor to the One who gave you all these things? Was that posting done in faith toward God? 

The first commandment, 2nd commandment, and 3rd commandment are transgressed when we do not give glory and honor to God in ALL things. 

You may say, but then how can anyone live up to these commandments? Exactly. We cannot. Our sinful nature prevents us from this, hence why we need a Savior, One who is perfect, and One who takes the full wrath of God. A God man, Jesus Christ. Who accomplished all that was needed to save us so we may become the children of God (Gal 3:26) and be indwelt by the Holy Spirit (Rom.8:14) guiding us into the truth of God’s word (John 17:17) and instructing us on how we should live.  

2) Another reason why modesty is not taught in most Christian Churches today is Because most of the women in Christianity not know Christ.  Not only is law and gospel not given in the church  but Christ is not given. If we do not know Christ then we cannot display true modesty only false modesty. If we do not understand who we truly are as sinful women, we do not look at Christ. All we do in Christian liberty and all we do in Christian love is rooted in who we worship and who receives the glory. The more a woman of God knows Christ, who He is, His nature, His works, etc the more she wants to be like Christ. 

When we understand our need and who Christ is and all that He has done we cannot but become humble, modest, meek women. 

Dressing modestly is a glory issue. Let me lay it out like this: WHO do I want people to see? Who do I want people to praise? Who do I want my brothers in Christ to see? 

Scripture tells us that …[our] body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within [us], whom [we] have from God. [We] are not [our] own, for [we] were bought with a price. So [we are to] glorify God in [our] body.-1 Corin.6:19-20

That we are, by the mercies of God, to present [our] bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is [our] spiritual worship.(Rom.12:1). 

Ok, so ask yourself this:

Is my body a sacrifice to Christ for His glory? Do I adorn this body to display Christ? 

As a temple of the Holy Spirit I should discern what clothing will most bring attention to Christ and His works through me. This same holy Spirit instructs us to choose Attire that we have determined is respectable apparel, displaying our modesty and self-control, that which is proper for women who profess godliness. Apparel that draws attention to our good works instead of ourselves (1 Tim.2:9-10). Why should our good works be our adornment? Because they display Christ and give him the glory. 

We are also instructed that our true beauty does come from how we adorn ourselves, but come from a gentle and quiet spirit, that which is of great worth in God’s sight (1Pet.3:2-5). 

We are instructed to dress as women and not as men (Deut 22:5). And that even the beauty of a woman is worthless if she is one that has no discretion (Prov.11:22).

If our attire brings attention to ourselves then who are we glorifying? When a woman has godliness and Christ’s glory as the focus on all she does, she will in her liberty choose wisely

The same applies when dealing with our weaker brother. What will the weaker brother see should our dress glorify Christ and not ourselves? The way we dress will be a result of loving them and a desire for them to see Christ in our good works so they may be edified and give glory to God. I also want to point out that our attire should not merely be a way to honor our husband, because that would be to glorify our husbands. Always our attire is to glorify Christ, and in that glory we will naturally bring honor to our husbands.

This is what is missing from the discussion. And it’s missing because we have somehow lost that theological matters are separated from practical matters. But theology directs all matters of life. What we believe about God is reflected in ALL we do and say. That includes what we wear. Immodesty is a result of this separation in the church. It is a result of not knowing God and not knowing Christ. And yes, we women in the church throughout the decades have promoted this view by making women’s ministry about women and not about Christ.

How can we women rectify this? How can an older woman train a younger woman to be modest?

First the older woman must  be learning about Christ so that she can know, love and bring Him glory.

We as human beings are always learning. We were created to learn, created to be disciples. But popular women’s ministry today makes disciples of Beth Moore, Jennie Allen, Christine Cain, Lysa Turkeurst, etc. Attend the book studies that pose as bible studies, or the popular conferences put on by these parachurch ministries and who is taught is the popular speaker. Their life stories, advice, and experiences are given. Not Christ’s life story, character, and instructions. So women need to break away from women who teach about themselves. We need to be reading Scripture and learning about Christ, as well as putting ourselves under men who preach Christ and women who teach Christ.

This takes hard work. This takes submission. It takes rejecting what we want to hear, sometimes rejecting our need to be entertained, and to be willing to hear and accept God’s Word. Our comfort will be attacked as we will have to address our sin. We will have to actually meditate on our actions and let Scripture judge our hearts. We will have to sacrifice ourselves. Nobody like this, but it is necessary as God has ordained sanctification through the death of our flesh as Christ is formed in us.

What else do we older women need to do to rectify this? We  should be always pointing the younger to Christ, urging them to bring Him glory in all they do. The same anguish that Paul describes in Gal. 4:19 should be on the heart of older women as they teach the younger. That Christ be formed in them. If this is our heart, we cannot do anything but point the younger to Christ, instructing her to meditate on Him and His Character, urging her to subject herself to Christ, encouraging her to be like her Master. All of this for His glory. 

Older women should teach the younger women all that is good. That means teach them about theology. Teach them the character traits and attributes of the Trinity SO THAT they desire to be modest to bring glory to God and not themselves. Teach them about original sin, the deity of Christ, and His atoning work on the Cross. Teach them of the fruits of the Spirit and the good doctrine that He gives in his written word. Teach ALL of the Scriptures to the younger women.Again, theology impacts our practical lives. When we learn about God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, we will learn about goodness, love, authority, submission, God’s holiness and our sin, etc. All that God has revealed about Himself impacts the way we live and the decisions we make. The more we know about Him the more we will be like him. Becoming more like the image that He intended from the beginning. The image that one day upon Christ’s return God determined we would be. Show the younger women that ALL the knowledge we gain from study of God’s word will bring his children to walk in faith and live out God’s will in our lives. Our prayer as older women should align with Paul’s pray to the Philippian church, that that [their} love may abound more and more, ^rwith knowledge and all discernment, ¹⁰ so that [they] may approve what is excellent, ^sand so be pure and blameless ^tfor the day of Christ, ¹¹ filled ^uwith the fruit of righteousness that comes ^vthrough Jesus Christ, ^wto the glory and praise of God. (Phil. 1:9-11)

In conclusion ladies, I know that there is so much more in relation to this topic. But we need to look at the real underlying issue. All other discussion around modesty can be made right if we have the Gospel and God’s glory as the motivation behind all we do, not my glory, nor even my husband’s, but Christ’s and Christ’s alone. From this starting place all other decisions regarding our dress can be done in liberty and love. From any other starting place this topic can become subjective and may become too loose or too narrow.

Of course I know that among unbelievers this type of admonition falls on deaf ears, but among my Christian sisters, I call on you to think on this. Ask yourselves these questions as you deal with your motivation:

Who do I desire to receive the glory for all I do, including what I look like? Who do I wish those around me would see? My beauty or Christ’s beauty? How can my dress best glorify God? 

And if you are inclined to say “well, I’ll just wear potato sacks so He will receive more glory” I caution you to think how a potato sack displays His beauty? God has given you your body, adorn it in beauty, but beauty that best displays Christ and His work in and through us. 

I pray ladies, that Our modesty comes from limiting ourselves, it comes from being fully aware that all we are given, and all we do is from God. The earth and everything in it belongs to God (Psalm 24:1). Every good and perfect gift is from him (James 1:17). 

I pray that we consider our calling, for not many of [us] were wise according to worldly standards,³ not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. ²⁷ But ⁿGod chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; ^oGod chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; ²⁸ God chose what is low and despised in the world, even ^pthings that are not, to ^qbring to nothing things that are, ²⁹ so ^rthat no human being⁴ might boast in the presence of God. ³⁰ And because of him⁵ [we] are in Christ Jesus, who became to us ^swisdom from God, ^trighteousness and ^usanctification and ^vredemption, ³¹ so that, as it is written, ^w“Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (1 corin 26-31). Let our dress reflect a boasting in the Lord not in ourselves.

Let all our works, including how we dress, be done in the knowledge that He works in us to both will and act according to his good pleasure (Phil.2:13)

I pray you are in his word.

MelbaToast

Used in this recording:

The power of Modest Clothing by Brian Holdsworth

Pastor Causes Internet MELTDOWN With Viral Tweet About Christian Women In Bikinis!!! By Spencer Smith

Resources:

 RC.Sproul The Tyranny of the Weaker Brother

John MacArthur God’s High Calling of Women